Samantha. Daydreamer. Wannabe writer. Avid reader. Moon enthusiast. Adventure seeker. Fangirl. Mug collector. Fluent in sarcasm. Grilled cheese aficionado. Awkward beyond all measure. I like sad songs and belly laughs.
Ways People Say "I Love You," Without Actually Saying "I Love You"
I miss you.
Be careful.
Call me when you get there.
It's so good to see you.
I'm always here if you need me.
I wish you were here.
Have fun!
I'm so proud of you. Thank you for always being there when I need you.
I just want to understand.
How are you, really? I believe in you.
I'm always here to listen. I'll stay as long as you need me.
I'm so happy you're in my life.
Make sure you wear your seat belt. Do you need anything?
Text me so I know you made it home safe.
You mean the world to me. I'll be thinking of you. Thanks for listening. Are you having a good time?
I don't know what I would do without you.
You're the best. You always know how to make me laugh. How can I help? I'm so glad I met you. I hope you feel better. I read this poem and it made me think of you. You're my favorite. Stay safe. I'm not going anywhere. Love & Chaos, Sam
The air conditioner upstairs has stopped working. It is August, your windows are open, and it is hot. You lie on the floor of your bedroom trying not to move. If you move, you sweat, so you lie still. The breeze that sweeps through your open window offers little relief, but it brings with it something familiar. It brings the scent of soft grass and lazy afternoons. The bright, hot stillness of the last few days of summer, the melancholy feeling that something is ending. It brings your mind back to other days spent in this slow heat, to books read while lying on your stomach atop your bed with your feet in the air. To stories full of adventure and love and the girl you used to be, who used to read them and believe them. A girl who loved the smell of open windows and warm breezes, who lived her life by the pages of books she read in summer. You lie still in the heat of your bedroom, remembering this girl you thought you had lost. But every now and then (if you're lucky) you find her. In the pages of the books you read. In the smell that wafts through an open window in late summer. In the heat of your bedroom on a Sunday in August. And tomorrow a man is coming to fix the air conditioner. -Samantha Lee
The third installment of Music Monday -- Summer Addition 1. Mumford & Sons I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was devastated when Mumford & Sons announced awhile back that they were going on an indefinite hiatus, and I'm also sure that I wasn't the only one who was ecstatic when I learned that this year they were coming together again to release new music. Their new album, Wilder Mind, is a definite departure from the folk/rock sound of their first two albums, but I love it nonetheless. I'm pretty sure I would love just about anything these guys put out, but if they were going to release new music, I'm glad it was in the form of Wilder Mind. The music on this album is much more rock than folk and sounds a lot edgier and heavy than past music they've put out, but it still feels natural for them. Some of the tracks on the album remind me a bit of Kings of Leon or even The Killers, but they also have a sound that is all there own. The music on this album is prefect for long summer road trips without any real destination in mind, or just when you're driving home late at night with the windows down. So do your ears a favor and have a listen. Favorite Songs (From Wilder Mind): Believe - Hot Gates - The Wolf - Snake Eyes - Cold Arms
2. Twenty One Pilots
Since I first discovered them a year or two ago, this alt/punk/rock/rap duo have quickly worked their way into my top ten favorite bands, and with the recent release of their newest album, Blurryface, they've now made it into the top five. With their first two albums I became interested in their unique sound and Tyler Joseph's voice and the way he's able to mix alt and rap together so well, but Blurryface has really sealed the deal for me. At a time in my life when everything seems to be changing and I'm being pulled in all different directions, and I have no idea where to go from here, this album has seemingly reached out its metaphorical hand and pulled me in. The track "Stressed Out" has spoken to me especially loudly after graduating from college two months ago, but every other song on the album packs its own punch. Somehow, it seems that this album and this band have come into my life at the exact time that I needed them, and for that I will be forever grateful. And you can be sure that I'll be spending my summer with Blurryface as my soundtrack, and "Stressed Out" on repeat for those extra stressful days.
Favorite Songs (From Blurryface): Stressed Out - Tear In My Heart - Fairly Local - We Don't Believe What's On TV
3. MisterWives
This indie pop band has only just recently popped up on my radar, but I'm glad they did, and they're just in time for summer. Their sound is hard to explain, but think bubbly pop meets electronic indie and you'd be close. The music on their debut album, Our Own House, which was released earlier this year, is perfect for long summer days and afternoons spent by the pool, with soft lulls and the kinds of choruses and hooks you can't help but dance to. Their music is the perfect complement to any fun summer activity and I know I'll have a few of their songs stuck in my head all summer long. I'm especially excited about this band right now because I'll be able to see them live at a music festival I'll be attending later this year, but for now I'll include them in all my summer playlists and dance around like no one is watching.
This band has been around for awhile now, but ever since I discovered them a few years ago I've always been a fan of their music. Anytime one of their songs comes on the radio I always turn up the volume and sing along. I love the grittiness of their sound and the lead singer's voice is so different from a lot of bands these days that it really it helps to set them apart. I've already added a few of their songs to my Poolside playlist, but I'm sure I'll be listening to their music all summer long, no matter where I am.
Favorite Songs: Cigarette Daydreams - Shake Me Down - Back Against The Wall - In One Ear
5. Bleachers If you've been paying any attention lately then you've hopefully heard of this band by now. If you haven't, listen up. Bleachers lead singer and former member of Fun. Jack Antonoff has been all over the place lately after his collaboration with you know who, but some of his best work is definitely with Bleachers. Their airy indie sound and catchy tunes are perfect for any beautiful summer day where you just want to have fun and dance around. I've been playing a few of their songs on repeat for the past month and I'm still not tired of hearing them. There's just something contagious about this band's sound that makes you want to get up and move and just make the most of these hot summer months. If you haven't included them in your summer playlists yet, then I suggest you get on it before the leaves start changing colors and you miss your chance to dance. Favorite Songs: I Wanna Get Better - Rollercoaster - Wild Heart - Like A River Runs - You're Still A Mystery
6. Walk The Moon
I've actually known about this band for awhile now, but since this is my summer addition of Music Mondays I figure it's the perfect time to talk about them. You've probably heard their song "Shut Up and Dance" on your local pop radio station for awhile now, but they've still got a lot more to offer. To me, they have the perfect quintessential summer sound. Their music is upbeat and fun and it's a great soundtrack to making memories with friends. You could listen to them at the pool, on the road, while you exercise, at a party, or just in your house while you're dancing around like a goofball and their music would fit the situation exactly. It's music like this that gets me excited for summer in the first place, and though unfortunately it's already July, I know I'll be wearing out their music well into fall and beyond.
Favorite Songs: Anna Sun - Work This Body - Tightrope - Shiver Shiver - Quesadilla - We Are the Kids - Different Colors
Happy listening, friends! And may your summers be long, hot, and bursting with beautiful memories! Love & Chaos, Sam
Writing and I have always had a bit of a love/hate relationship. When it's good it's good and it feels as if there is an endless supply of ideas flowing from my brain. But other times, when it's bad, it's so terribly awful that it feels as if I'd rather do anything else than write another single word. Sometimes, when it's good, writing can feel a little bit like falling in love. It's like that feeling you get when a boy you've had a crush on decides to text you first. You get that feeling in your chest like your heart is being squeezed. Going back to work on an old story is like visiting an old friend. Getting to remember all the memories you've shared and laughing at old jokes that still feel like new. Starting a fresh story with fresh ideas is like visiting a new place, somewhere you didn't know you really wanted to go until you get there and you realize it's amazing. Going into it not quite knowing exactly how it will turn out, but just being so excited to have something new to write about. New people to create. New worlds to discover. In all my 22 years of life, this is by far one of the best feelings I know in the world. But other times writing can feel like the hardest work imaginable; like pulling teeth or creating something from absolutely nothing. You stare at the page you're working on and nothing is coming to you. You're tired and you're annoyed at yourself and all you can do is turn away from the page before you go insane. Or reading over something you've written the day before, or the week before, or even years before and realizing that it's absolute shit and not really knowing how to fix it. Those days are especially hard. Those are the days that make me doubt myself. The days that make me wonder why I ever thought this was a good idea and how I ever possibly thought that writing was a sensible path to pursue. Because it's not. It's probably one of the hardest and worst. But my god, when it's good, it's absolutely incredible. They say writers are crazy, and whether I can call myself one or not, I'm definitely crazy. I'm crazy for even trying to create worlds out of absolutely nothing but my mind and my fingers. I'm crazy for dreaming so big and actually hoping that these dreams could come true. I'm crazy for putting all of my eggs into one very thin basket. I'm crazy for not giving up yet. I'm crazy for wanting it so badly. But I know by now that I'd be even crazier if I stopped. Because these ideas and these words and these people inside my brain, they've got to go somewhere. And the only good place I've been able to find for them is a piece of paper, whether it's physical or digital. And anyway, I've come to find that the craziest people have the most fun. They have the most amazing lives, and those are the people I want to know and emulate. The ones who are crazy enough to believe they can do something, and then they go out and do it. I went on vacation recently and I decided to leave my laptop behind. Mostly because I wanted to "unplug" and because I didn't want to lug it around, but also because I just wasn't feeling my writing lately. I felt burnt out and out of ideas, and I didn't even feel like reading over anything or really doing any writing at all. I'd hit a slump, something that happens often, so I decided to step away for a week. But of course, as per usual, as soon as I reached the ocean I was hit with a wave of ideas and inspiration. For weeks I'd been struggling to write anything, but one look at that blue water and those quaint beach houses and I had a whole new crop of ideas to work with. All week I couldn't stop thinking about my laptop sitting at home and being unable to get to it. I resorted to writing things down on my phone just so I wouldn't forget them. By the end of the trip I was going absolutely mad not being able to write. And as soon as I got home I opened up a new word document and I could breathe again. I felt that tightening sensation in my chest that I always get when I'm excited about a story or a new idea and it felt amazing. It's the kind of feeling that makes me want to squeal or jump up and down, and anyone who knows me knows that I am not the type to do either of these things. But when it's good, writing makes me feel giddy, which feels weird to write, but is true nonetheless. So at this point I'm still trying to ride this just-back-from-vacation high and keep the ideas coming. Of course I'm always anticipating the lull, the moment when a story gets boring, or when I run out of ideas, or when I can't figure out how to put what's in my head properly into words. That's one of the most frustrating feelings; knowing exactly what you want to say, or how you want a scene to play out, but being unable to figure out how to get it onto paper in a way that makes sense and sounds good. That's always been the most challenging part for me. In my head I've probably written twenty books already, but it's getting those stories on the page in the way that I want them that I can't seem to figure out. But for right now, I'm just going to let myself feel excited again, and hope that this time something will stick. Because this is the part of writing that I love, the anticipation, the not knowing where the story will end up, the excitement to get to my laptop every night, the not wanting to sleep because I'm on a roll. Hopefully this feeling will stick around for awhile, but when the inevitable lull does come, I'll be ready this time. Because if there's anything I've learned in the past few years about my relationship with writing, it's that the two of us can't be apart for long before one of us comes crawling back for more. Love & Chaos, Sam
