23 Things I Have Learned Upon Turning 23
1. Being in your twenties is just as exciting as everyone says, but don't let the books and movies and television shows fool you. It's also confusing and terrifying and stressful as hell, and it's easy to get overwhelmed by it all, but don't give up. This time in our lives is meant to be crazy and scary and wonderfully, horribly weird. Embrace it. Learn from it. Never take it for granted.
2. No matter how old you get, as far as I can tell, that whole "not quite having your life together" feeling never really goes away. It just changes right along with you and you just keep on living your life. And whether you have it together or not, your life is still yours, in all its messy glory, so own it.
3. The right shade of red lipstick really can work wonders.
4. People always say that college is the place where you find yourself, where you become who you're supposed to be, but it's okay to not know who you are yet, even after college has ended. You have your whole life to figure out who you are. Don't rush it.
5. Not everything can be fixed by a laugh, or Adele, or the perfect combination of frozen yogurt flavors, but they sure can help.
6. One of the best things to come out of this year is the amount of writing you've done, but you haven't read nearly as much as you wanted to. Make an effort in the coming year to read more, as much as you used to. More than you used to. Reading is your first love and without it you don't really feel like yourself. Pick up a book.
7. Sometimes there is no right answer. Sometimes things just happen, no matter how much you wish they wouldn't. And when they happen, sometimes all you can do is be there for the people you love. Even when being there is hard or scary. Even when you aren't sure they want you there at all. Just be there.
8. Eye shadow isn't quite as intimidating as it may seem. You might even be getting the hang of it. Eyeliner, however, is another story.
9. Don't let fear or embarrassment keep you from telling people what you really want or don't want. Even if it may hurt them a little, it's better than ignoring them. You're not a teenager anymore, and you can't always get away with passive aggressive silence. Tell people how you feel.
10. Mental health is just as important as physical health, but not everyone is going to understand this. Try and help them understand, but don't force it. Focus on making yourself a healthier, happier person.
11. Music can and will save your life. Don't let anyone tell you different.
12. Remember that your sisters are watching. Remember this every time you look in the mirror at yourself and want to say something negative. It doesn't matter how old they get, you are still their example, so try to be a good one. Teach them to love themselves by learning to love yourself more. You will all be better for it.
13. The books and the films always seem to romanticize heartbreak, but there's nothing romantic about breaking your own heart.
14. Sometimes the negativity in your life can come from the most unexpected places, and the most unexpected people, even by accident. And though it may be hard to do, it's okay to take a step back from it all. Even if it's just for a little while. But don't allow your fears to turn a little while into forever. Some relationships are too important to walk away from. And sometimes people need you most when it feels as if they don't need you at all. And even if they don't know it, you need them too.
15. Dry shampoo is a girl's best friend.
18. Accept the fact that people change; sometimes slowly over time, and sometimes seemingly overnight. Accept that there isn't really anything you can do about this. Remember that they are on their own path, and though it may be parallel to yours, it is not the same path. Don't forget that you are changing too.
19. The cover of "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams is a fucking great song. And occasional profanity can be very cathartic.
20. Throughout life you will encounter people who will try to make you feel like what you believe, or what you care about, is wrong, or doesn't matter. Don't let them. You believe what you believe. But always remember that just because they believe something different, doesn't mean they are any worse or any better than you. The world isn't full of only good or only bad people and nothing is ever completely one thing or the other. Everyone is made up of gray areas. And neither you nor anyone else is ever always right or always wrong. But that doesn't mean you should compromise your own beliefs for someone else's. Stand up for yourself and what matters to you. But always remember to listen to what other people have to say. Show them the respect you want to be shown in return.
21. Always, always do your best to be kind. There is already too much negativity in the world and it won't ever do you any good to add to it. And no matter how much you may disagree with someone, or how angry they make you, you can never truly know what they're going through. So even when your instincts are pushing you toward anger, choose kindness instead.
22. Sometimes you seem to forget what it was like when you were 14 and believed you knew everything about the world. Or when you were 18 and just wanted to go, go, go and never look back. Try to remember for them. Try to be more patient. Try to show them that you are all so different, but so similar at the same time. Try to be more open about how much they mean to you. That without them your life would be unrecognizable. That they are so much better than you will ever be. Help them to avoid making the same mistakes you made, but know that they will make mistakes that are all their own. Be there for them when they do. And even though it scares the crap out of you every time they leave the house, remember that you are not their mother. You are their sister, and that's all they need you to be. So be a better one.
2. No matter how old you get, as far as I can tell, that whole "not quite having your life together" feeling never really goes away. It just changes right along with you and you just keep on living your life. And whether you have it together or not, your life is still yours, in all its messy glory, so own it.
3. The right shade of red lipstick really can work wonders.
4. People always say that college is the place where you find yourself, where you become who you're supposed to be, but it's okay to not know who you are yet, even after college has ended. You have your whole life to figure out who you are. Don't rush it.
5. Not everything can be fixed by a laugh, or Adele, or the perfect combination of frozen yogurt flavors, but they sure can help.
6. One of the best things to come out of this year is the amount of writing you've done, but you haven't read nearly as much as you wanted to. Make an effort in the coming year to read more, as much as you used to. More than you used to. Reading is your first love and without it you don't really feel like yourself. Pick up a book.
7. Sometimes there is no right answer. Sometimes things just happen, no matter how much you wish they wouldn't. And when they happen, sometimes all you can do is be there for the people you love. Even when being there is hard or scary. Even when you aren't sure they want you there at all. Just be there.
8. Eye shadow isn't quite as intimidating as it may seem. You might even be getting the hang of it. Eyeliner, however, is another story.
9. Don't let fear or embarrassment keep you from telling people what you really want or don't want. Even if it may hurt them a little, it's better than ignoring them. You're not a teenager anymore, and you can't always get away with passive aggressive silence. Tell people how you feel.
10. Mental health is just as important as physical health, but not everyone is going to understand this. Try and help them understand, but don't force it. Focus on making yourself a healthier, happier person.
11. Music can and will save your life. Don't let anyone tell you different.
12. Remember that your sisters are watching. Remember this every time you look in the mirror at yourself and want to say something negative. It doesn't matter how old they get, you are still their example, so try to be a good one. Teach them to love themselves by learning to love yourself more. You will all be better for it.
13. The books and the films always seem to romanticize heartbreak, but there's nothing romantic about breaking your own heart.
14. Sometimes the negativity in your life can come from the most unexpected places, and the most unexpected people, even by accident. And though it may be hard to do, it's okay to take a step back from it all. Even if it's just for a little while. But don't allow your fears to turn a little while into forever. Some relationships are too important to walk away from. And sometimes people need you most when it feels as if they don't need you at all. And even if they don't know it, you need them too.
15. Dry shampoo is a girl's best friend.
16. The way you feel right now makes it hard to maintain the relationships in your life, but please don't give up. Keep reaching out, even if it's hard. Keep trying. Don't lose the people you care most about just because they seem to be moving on without you. They aren't leaving you behind, but they aren't going to sit around waiting for you either. Show them that they matter to you. Make an effort.
17. One of the bravest things you can do in life is ask for help.
17. One of the bravest things you can do in life is ask for help.
18. Accept the fact that people change; sometimes slowly over time, and sometimes seemingly overnight. Accept that there isn't really anything you can do about this. Remember that they are on their own path, and though it may be parallel to yours, it is not the same path. Don't forget that you are changing too.
19. The cover of "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams is a fucking great song. And occasional profanity can be very cathartic.
20. Throughout life you will encounter people who will try to make you feel like what you believe, or what you care about, is wrong, or doesn't matter. Don't let them. You believe what you believe. But always remember that just because they believe something different, doesn't mean they are any worse or any better than you. The world isn't full of only good or only bad people and nothing is ever completely one thing or the other. Everyone is made up of gray areas. And neither you nor anyone else is ever always right or always wrong. But that doesn't mean you should compromise your own beliefs for someone else's. Stand up for yourself and what matters to you. But always remember to listen to what other people have to say. Show them the respect you want to be shown in return.
21. Always, always do your best to be kind. There is already too much negativity in the world and it won't ever do you any good to add to it. And no matter how much you may disagree with someone, or how angry they make you, you can never truly know what they're going through. So even when your instincts are pushing you toward anger, choose kindness instead.
23. You spent a large part of this year being afraid. Afraid of what the future holds. Afraid of your own mind. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of your tears. Afraid of strangers, and afraid of the people in your life that you love the most, and the fact that you might disappoint them, or already have. But this next year you must not allow your fears to make the decisions for you. It's okay to cry. And it's okay to be afraid sometimes. But it's not okay to let it stop you from living your life. You have grown far too comfortable with your surroundings, but now you must learn to embrace the uncomfortable. Go out into the world alone and allow yourself to feel the fear that comes along with it. But do not allow your fear to hold you prisoner within the walls of your own room. There is a great big world out there waiting for you. Go see it while you still can. It is time to start holding yourself accountable for your own life.
~
22 has been a big year for me, but it's also been one of the hardest years, emotionally and mentally, that I've ever experienced. From graduating college and the ensuing panic of not knowing what to do next, to the realization that my anxiety had gotten worse rather than better and spending almost all of the past few months afraid to leave the house alone, it's been a whirlwind of emotions and pretending that they don't exist. I've had some amazing highs this year and some catastrophically low lows, and still the world has gone on spinning and now here I am, turning 23. In some ways I am very glad to say goodbye to 22, if only because it wasn't at all how I wished it could have been. But then again that's one of the reasons why I am also so very sad to see it go. I had so many hopes and expectations for this year, my golden year, and now all I want is to be able to go back and live it all (or almost all) over again, only this time I'd want to do things differently. But of course I can't go back, and maybe that's a good thing, because if there's one thing this year has taught me it's that looking back too much can keep you from moving forward. So instead I will try to look ahead, to look forward to what 23 has in store for me and hope that this year I will be strong enough to do things a little differently. During my 22nd year I spent far too much time waiting for life to happen to me, as if life can happen to anyone who spends five days out of seven in her pajamas. So this year, my 23rd year, I'm going to do everything I can to try and live my life more purposefully, using each day to it's full potential. And I'm going to do my best to become a healthier person; physically, mentally, and emotionally. And I'm going to try my best to make this next year as amazing as the past year could have been, so that by this time next December I'll be making a new list, all about the wonderful things I've learned. And I'll be able to tell you all about what the people I've met and the places I've been have taught me about what it means to live a life in motion, rather than one spent standing still.
There is a song that says, nobody likes you when you're 23, but this year the only person I really want to like me, is me. This past year is the year I got a little lost, the year I tripped up, so I'm going to spend this next year doing everything I can to find myself again. Here's hoping I find someone better than before.
Love & Chaos,
Sam
There is a song that says, nobody likes you when you're 23, but this year the only person I really want to like me, is me. This past year is the year I got a little lost, the year I tripped up, so I'm going to spend this next year doing everything I can to find myself again. Here's hoping I find someone better than before.
Love & Chaos,
Sam
geetings from jakarta..
ReplyDeletebest regards,
ruangguru